Now Where Was I? Oh Yeah, Firing My Other Doctor.....

So when I left off I was just about to have a phone conversation with my rheumatologist. I had seen him a few weeks previously at which time he told me he wanted to run some labs and then he would consider changing my medication.

If Joe wouldn't have been with me at this appointment I would have surely thought I had lost my mind when I talked with my doctor and he told me that he wouldn't change my meds. Now this doctor has misdiagnosed me 3 times and is still under the impression that the compressed nerve in my neck that was corrected with steroid injections (yes, corrected folks...as in only normal RA pain in my elbow when the weather changes...yes, no pain almost all the time....excuse me while I do the happy dance.) was RSD...and no matter how much I explained it to him he would not change his mind.

So, needless to say, I don't tend to trust him overly much. After I had quite the conversation with my rheumy over my new surgeon telling me that my ankles were indeed my RA and him arguing it wasn't, I asked for what I needed in a very constructive way and it was the first time I hung up the phone and didn't have that I. SHOULD. HAVE. SAID. THIS. OR. THAT. feeling.

I went to my surgeon appointment and asked him a whole bunch of questions and he was honest with me saying there was basically nothing he could do to treat me at this point (I appreciate the honesty) because my meds needed to be changed.

That night I went home and drank a large martini. Thankfully, I was busy with dinner and missed my rheumies return call where he practically came out and called me insane and told me that I HAD to bring my husband to my next appointment.

At that point I kind of lost my shit....I held it together but just barely. I was out later that evening and I had such an urge to do something BAD. Thankfully, I just sat through it and reminded myself I had enough chaos and didn't need to add to the craziness.

And then I did something amazingly sane....I quit my rheumatologist. (Well, I had Joe call and ask them for a copy of my file and he mentioned that he was offended). Yes, in less than a month I have walked away from two doctors that have made the last year of my life beyond difficult and I couldn't be more thrilled....because....

I'm changing insurance in October. Again, another healthy move. We will be changing from a HMO to a PPO. Yes folks, I will now have options. If I go to a rheumatologist and they say this pain isn't RA then I can go to an ankle/foot doctor without a referral and see if there is anything they can do to help.

AWESOME....really there aren't enough words to explain how much this excites me...and even better news, my mental health doctors, PCP and new orthopedic surgeon are covered under the new insurance. Damn, if I could jump up and click my heels together I would so be doing it right now.

That said, I have 37 days to wait. Luckily, I have enough meds to keep me steady until I can get to new docs. I'm off all of my pain meds. Yup, you read that right...NO.MORE.PAIN.MEDS. And while I have pain, I'm dealing...quite well actually...

How am I doing it? I have no idea but it's working. I've also started chiropractic care and acupuncture. I've only had one acupuncture session but I' m hopeful...the electrical stimulation seems to be working. I'm back into shoes and while my feet still hurt, it's not nearly as bad as it was.

While I know that doctoring is right around the corner for me, I'm not nearly as frozen with fear as I was, because I know I can do this if I take it slow and trust myself. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm starting to get healthy and making good decisions.

And you know what? IT ROCKS!!